Mello x OC : Never Think
by Molly.Munroe
Summary: Mello x OC. Love story, first attempt at Mello. Please forgive me if it's terrible. Rated M for safety and possibly further chapters.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Death Note or it's characters.

Mello was sitting with Matt on the leather couches in the base. The room was clouded with cigarette smoke, a few smoking genuine tar and soot, and whatever else could be found in one of those death-sticks Mello had no taste for, and a few were smoking pot, obviously stolen from a hit or two. A few men were straggling around the bar, the television, and the door, trying to decide whether or not to leave the base for a few shorts hours with a female companion – a well-paid female companion.

Mello looked to the bar of chocolate in his hand. He took a dramatic bite, sliding the thin piece over his tongue, his sensitive taste buds picking up on the bittersweet flavor. He chewed softly and quietly, his eyes glued to the front door. She was bound to walk in sometime, wasn't she?

He took another bite, filling his mouth with chocolate absent-mindedly.

"Mello," a rough voice asked.

It almost startled him out of his chocolate appreciation time / worrying his fucking mind out of orbit about her.

The blond male looked up at the tall, slender man, drunk as hell and ugly as fuck.

"Where's your friend?"

A disgusting smirk was smeared across the man's features, his obvious thoughts barely containing themselves in his mind, with no help from the alcohol.

"I don't know, and if I did, I would **not** tell you."

The man grimaced, and bent down.

"Now, then, Mello, you little **bitch**."

He smiled briefly, obviously pleased with his insult, and then returned to his serious grimace.

"Now it's my fucking **mission** to find her, and when I do, you're going to wish you had told me."

He stared into Mello's eyes expectantly.

Mello could smell the strong sting of whiskey on this guy's breath. He could see the red creeping into his beady eyes. And he could hear the pure lust in his voice when he asked about her. There was no fucking way this guy would **ever** touch **her**.

Mello took a bite of the chocolate, dramatically making a loud crack in the guy's face. The man looked pissed, but nonetheless, stood up, looked around the foggy room, and walked away.

Mello took another, smaller bite, without the drama, staring at the door, his mind pacing, his heart pounding in his stomach, throat and ears, his hands battling the urge to shake, and his eyes refusing to leave the door.

Finally, to Mello's relief, she walked in the door. She was drenched, as she opened the door. Mello only caught a brief glance at her long, dark brown hair as she stomped through the room, making her way quickly to her room.

Mello rose, and looked at Matt, who hadn't looked up from his game.

"Go on, then."

Mello smirked, and rustled Matt's hair as he walked quickly to her room.

The door was closed, music blasted.

Mello hesitated, his stomach rolling back, and then knocked.

There was no answer.

Mello sighed.

_C'mon, she trusts you. She grew up with you, for fuck sakes! Just go in, Mello. Nice and easy._

Mello opened the door slowly, and forced himself inside despite his worried mind. He closed the door, and stared quietly at her.

She was sitting on the edge of the bed, clad in a white tank top, sticking to her sides from the rain, her grey bra visible – courtesy of the rain – and grey skinny jeans, her boots thrown across the room, one on the desk, one on the ground by the bookshelf, a few discarded books from a hard hit lying beside it.

Her hands were gripping the edge of the bed, her head hung, her beautiful hair hiding her brilliant face.

Mello stepped over, and sat on the edge of the bed, a little ways away from her.

"Kenna."

She looked around quickly. Her aquamarine eyes were coated with tears, her face flushed. Her perfectly pouty lips were turned in a frown.

She didn't say anything. She just moved.

Her hands found his hair and her lips matched his. Mello was shocked, and a muffled complaint escaped his lips, but she just used the advantage to slip her tongue in his mouth. Mello was shocked.

This was the girl he grew up with; this was the girl who begged him to come sleep with her when there were monsters under her bed. This was the girl he had always wanted, and here she was, taking him unexpectedly. Mello had no idea how far she'd let herself go, but he was pretty sure she wasn't stopping any time soon.

Kenna pushed him back on the bed, her lips removed from his. She shoved her hand down his tight leather pants (to Mello's amazement) and undid his vest, attacking his collarbone greedily.

Mello threw back his head, moaning in sheer pleasure as her hand found the one thing he had tried to keep hidden.

He was losing himself. He couldn't do it. Not with her.

He balanced himself on his elbows, panting, and groaning every few seconds.

"K-Kenna… st-stop…"

Kenna smirked, and kissed down his chest, her lips teasing his abdominal muscles, her hand working teasingly and painfully slow on him.

"Kenna…"

Another smirk, and she licked up his abs, once again making his collarbone a target, earning a loud groan from Mello.

"**Kenna, stop it.**"

Kenna looked up in shock, staring at Mello.

Her eyes were surprised and pleading, her face distressed.

Mello removed her hand (much to his demise) and fixed his pants. He sat up, staring into her eyes.

"What's wrong?"

The plea broke Mello's heart. Her eyes were watery again, her lips fighting the urge to release a childish pout. She sat back, crossing her legs, her hands gripping her ankles, the exposed flesh white, and her knuckles even whiter.

"Kenna, this isn't right. You can't use this as an outlet for when you're upset."

Mello stared into her eyes, trying to find a hint of understanding.

"Why not?"

Her eyes were frustrated, her face contorted slightly in pain.

Mello closed his eyes, preparing himself to see fear in those beautiful eyes.

He grabbed her, and pulled him underneath himself, forcing a hand down her pants, one holding a clothed breast.

"Do you like this, Kenna? Feeling helpless and afraid?"

His voice was strained, his eyes showing nothing but pain at hurting her like this.

Kenna was shocked, her eyes watering over. She shook her head, her hair rustling underneath her.

Mello carefully removed his hand, trying desperately not to feel her. His other hand moved to the bed. He was still above her, but now he was poised protectively over her.

"Kenna, I don't ever want you to feel helpless and afraid with me. I refuse to do that with you."

Kenna looked into his eyes, shocked by how sweet and gentle Mello was acting. Hell, Mello was even surprised at how much he cared about Kenna. But he had protected her, ever since Wammy's. When he left, she followed. She followed him everywhere, into anything. She was willing to put her life on the line for him. Now, if he could help it, he was going to save her from himself.

"I don't. I never have."

Kenna smiled, and she looked away.

"I met them today."

Mello's eyes widened.

"Your parents?"

Kenna nodded, forcing a smile.

"Wammy's kidnapped me from adoptive parents. You knew that," she closed her eyes, "I met them today. I tracked them down. I tried so fucking hard to be what they wanted. Turns out they never wanted me. They have another kid, older than me. Apparently, they only wanted one. After I showed up, she got her tubes tied and he got a little snip-job done."

Mello resisted his urge to get upset. He just tried desperately to listen.

"The kid's about your age, maybe a year or two older. His name is Kenton. He's beautiful, Mello. He's fucking perfect. He's everything I couldn't and can't be."

Mello pressed his hand to her cheek, making her look at him gently. She opened her eyes. Mello leaned down and kissed her lightly, removing himself from her quickly before he got lost again.

"Mello…" Kenna looked into his eyes.

He stared down at her. Nothing registered in the world but her.

"I… thank you."

Kenna wrapped her arms around his neck, and brought him close to her body. He tried to ignore the fact that she was still wet. It was easy; when he felt the small body beneath him, clinging to him, love just pouring out of themselves into the other. Mello buried his face in her hair, his breath tickling her ear.

"You're welcome."

Mello rolled onto his side, and hugged her waist, pulling her as close to him as possibly. He was a head taller than her, but he could still embrace her as easily he could a teddy bear.

Kenna cuddled into him quietly. Her lips touched his collarbone, lightly this time. Mello looked down. It was slightly bruised. He chuckled.

Kenna looked into his eyes and smiled, kissing him lightly.

"I like this."

Mello raised an eyebrow.

"What would "this" be, Kenna?"

Kenna looked steady into his eyes.

"I don't know."

She smiled.

"But I like it. A lot."

Mello laughed quietly, closing his eyes.

He could feel her lips on his again, and then a disturbance in her position as her lips touched his ear.

"Don't let us leave this, okay?"

Mello smiled.

"Okay."

Kenna kissed him again, longer this time, Mello's hands roaming to her waist. She managed her self-control and pulled herself away, snuggling under his chin, nestled into his warm body.

A smirk came to Mello's lips.

He had forgotten he wasn't wearing a shirt until Kenna's slow, steady breaths warmed the skin on the bruised skin around his collarbone. He was amazed at how much damage that little girl could do.

Mello opened his eyes and glanced out of the bottoms of his eyes. He saw her chocolate brown hair. He felt her inside of his embrace, felt her breath on his skin. He still felt her lips on his.

Closing his eyes, he smiled.

Love.

It was definitely love.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

A. N. So, I don't know whether to continue. I mean, I definitely have a direction; I have it mapped out in my head where this is going. But if you don't want me to continue, I'll leave it as a simple one-shot. I might decide myself, but hey, I'm not 100% sure.


	2. Chapter 2

Mello was different now. He was harder, more unstable than before. His drive for success had grown, his thirst for something more than second best had grown. His mind was more cluttered, more frantically involved in his life.

The only thing that hadn't changed was his love for her.

Kenna had stuck with him. So had Matt. Those two, he knew, should be the things he prayed for. But every night, he prayed to a God that he clung to desperately, and he prayed for Near's downfall.

He thought of how L always said hello, always abandoned him abruptly for Near, for the number one, for the one thing driving him off the edge of insanity.

Mello was born to succeed with his determined mind and will to move on. But hate had driven him too far.

But Kenna was always there when he was about to give up, when he had the gun to his head, when the entire world turned it's back on him, yet again.

Kenna would calm him, talk to him, listen to him, let him shout, let him cry, hold him, let him hold her. She would let him touch her, let him make her eternally his. She wouldn't complain, wouldn't object, merely attach herself to him, enjoy every ounce of pleasure he could humanly give her. She had been worried the first time, had told him, reminded him of the time she threw herself at him when they were young. Mello had remembered. Kenna had given herself over willingly.

Now things were harder. More frequent. Kenna seemed to grow weary of the nights Mello would stroll in and vent his frustrations. But she always gave herself over to him, willing to accept the pain and pleasure that always came with the nights with Mello.

There used to be a time Mello would sneak in to merely make love to her, to be able to feel her, to be able to hold her, and listen to her, and see her. He would hide himself with her, careful not to expose their love to the people surrounding them. He would listen to them, calling him a bitch, calling him a lover boy, calling him fem-boy, wondering if they could stick it.

Now, Mello took what he wanted, when he wanted it. Which included the gang, which included respect. Included Kenna.

Kenna had grown remarkably closer to Matt, obviously her source of comfort now that Mello had grown cold. It was a frequent thing. Get in, vent, stay a few minutes, hoping, praying she would say, "I love you" again, and then leave, watching her walk to Matt's room. He could only hope they spoke words, and only words.

Mello would sit and remember, biting his lip, watching the still nothing in the air.

"_Mello! Mello, come here!"_

_Mello walked over to where Kenna sat. She smiled up at him, showing him her latest artwork. She was amazingly talented. _

"_It's you and me."_

_Kenna smiled._

"_Yupp! See, you're under the tree, ready to catch me if I fall! It's like a metaphor, for our lives," she smiled up at him again, "You're always ready to catch me, Mello."_

Mello had taken the gang, had taken it all without question.

"_It's mine, old man. You refuse to help me catch him, and now it's all fucking mine, old man."_

_A single shot fired, into the middle-aged man's head. The cigar fell from his mouth, the glass of gin and ice fell from his hand, shattering._

"_Mello."_

_He turned to find Matt and Kenna._

_Kenna's eyes clouded with tears._

_Mello smiled._

"_We're going to defeat Near. I'm going to come out on top, Kenna."_

_He tried to explain. Kenna nodded._

"_I understand."_

_It was as plain as day that it was a lie, but Mello was beyond caring. A lie was better than the truth right now. He could live with that lie as he tried to sleep at night. He couldn't live with the truth. It would kill him._

Mello sighed, laying beside Kenna, spent and tired.

He had broken his word.

He had let them leave the "this" that Kenna had desperately tried to hold on to while Mello shot people down, killed for glory. Kenna hadn't been able to do it alone. Mello watched as she slowly broke, the last remains of hope dimly lighting her eyes.

It was love. It used to be love.

Now it was about catching Kira, defeating Near, coming out on top.

He had told her sex wasn't a proper outlet for your emotions, and here he was, using every moment he could spare making Kenna into an outlet, and nothing more. But Mello knew that was a lie.

Mello needed Kenna. He needed her there. She was his last remains of sanity, and he couldn't lose her.

When he held that gun to his head, she was the only one there. She had told him, every second she could, how much she loved him. She would use every moment of daylight confessing her love, and every minute of moonlight proving it.

Now, everything was breaking, and slowly fading. Mello couldn't let it go. But he couldn't give up on this. He was so close.

"Kenna…?"

He was slow and careful.

Kenna rolled over, facing away from him.

"You should get some sleep."

Her voice cracked.

She was crying.

"Kenna."

"From what it sounds, you have a busy day."

Mello stood up.

"I fucking hate this."

Kenna froze.

Mello stared at her.

"What is "this" exactly, Mello?"

It was a whisper. A tiny sound.

"This is fucking broken, fucking psychotic. It isn't what it used to be, and it sure as fuck isn't what it's supposed to be. Kenna, I promised… I wouldn't let us leave what you wanted to stay in."

Kenna rolled over, looking at him.

"I'm happy, Mello. Now get some sleep."

Her eyes shone in the moonlight streaming into her room, the window betraying them. The dim lamp's light was enough to make her look even more desperately broken than Mello thought was possible.

"You're lying."

Mello sat beside her, a gentle hand on her waist.

"I remember everything. I remember Wammy's, and how we used to cuddle in my bed when it was cold in the winter, and how you begged me to stay for just a few more minutes, which turned into the whole night. I remember… I remember falling in love with you, every moment."

Mello closed his eyes.

"I remember when it wasn't an obsession. When it was just simply me hating Near. But it turned into more. It's overwhelmed me, Kenna. And I'm scared. I'm helpless and afraid."

Kenna sat up, clutching the thin sheet to her body.

"Come back to me, Mello."

Mello opened his eyes.

"I don't know if I can anymore, Kenna. I don't know if I can remember how to be… just me."

Kenna touched his face, the sheet failing her. But Mello was too content with her touching him, with her forgiving him, with **her**.

"Just be mine again, Mello. Just try to be mine. Just let me be yours."

Mello grabbed her hands, and looked in her eyes.

"I love you, Kenna."

It was simple.

"I love you, Mello."

It was simple.


	3. Chapter 3

"_I don't want to leave, Mello. Not if it means we can't stay here together anymore."_

_Kenna was staring out the window, her face concealed in sadness._

"_We can stay together after we leave."_

"_Not if you become the next L."_

_Kenna looked at him._

"_If you do, you can't be with me anymore. You'll have to be everything, everything that L is."_

_Mello sighed._

"_What if I took you with me, and never left you here?"_

_Kenna laughed sadly._

"_Being L, Mello… you wouldn't be allowed. Even I know that."_

_Mello looked at her. She was too young to understand he'd do anything to keep her with him._

"_Then I'll change the rules."_

_Kenna looked at him._

_A small smile came to her lips._

"_Thanks, Mello."_

Mello looked at the papers on his desk.

It used to be simple, him and Kenna. Now it was so cluttered, like his desk. Papers strewn this way and that, some forgotten, some lost. Emotions and memories strewn this way and that, some forgotten, some lost.

Mello bent down and picked up a few papers.

He wanted to bend down and pick up everything he had lost, pick up everything that had been dropped as this hate overwhelmed his mind, as this sickening plague overthrew him.

He wanted to go back.

He wanted to stop hurting her.

_Kenna smiled up at Mello._

"_I love you."_

_Mello smiled, kissing her lightly._

"_I love you, too, Kenna."_

_She brought her hand to his face. The other tangled itself in his hair._

"_I'm glad."_

_There was nothing else to say. There was nothing else that could be said._

_Mello kissed her, and passionately took her, and held her, whispered her name, over and over, and lay with her, whispering promises of forever in her ear._

_Kenna sat up, looking down at him._

"_Would you give this all up if we could be together forever?"_

_Mello looked up at her._

"_Yes."_

"_Would you give it up right now?"_

_Mello laughed._

"_Of course I would."_

_Kenna bit her lip._

"_Would you give up defeating Near?"_

_Mello sat up, bringing his hands to her hair, smiling._

"_What am I to you, Kenna?"_

_Kenna closed her eyes, basking in Mello's affection._

"_You're my everything."_

"_Then I've already beaten him, in one way."_

_Kenna opened her eyes._

"_He'll never be someone's everything. He'll never have love, emotion-filled passion with another human being. I have you. Therefore, I win."_

_Kenna smiled._

"_Am I a trophy?"_

_Mello let out a deep laugh, rich with bliss._

"_I'd say I'm yours."_

_Kenna cocked her head._

"_How?"_

_Mello smiled._

"_Because you hold all I am, right in your hands, Kenna."_

_Kenna smiled, and kissed him lightly._

"_Kenna Miller."_

_Mello closed his eyes, and pressed his forehead to hers._

"_Hm?"_

"_My name. My real name, its Kenna Miller."_

_Mello smiled._

"_Mihael Keehl."_

_Kenna smiled._

"_I like that name."_

"_Does it suit me?"_

"_Yes."_

_Mello laughed._

"_Really?"_

_Kenna let out a low chuckle._

"_I don't know."_

_Mello looked at her._

"_You're beautiful."_

"_I could say the same."_

_Mello kissed her, pushing her back onto the bed gently._

"_I will never hurt you."_

"_I'll forgive you if you do."_

_Mello kissed her neck gently._

"_I will never leave you."_

"_You'll find me again if you do."_

"_Will you wait for me?"_

_Kenna looked him dead in the eyes._

"_Always."_

Mello stared at the door, praying for her to walk in.

He had remembered all the times they had been together.

All the times he had been happy.

_Kenna sat in his lap, wearing merely his oversized pajama button-down. She played with the cross hanging on his neck. Mello pushed the sleeves up, freeing her hands from distraction._

"_Are you religious?"_

_The words were quiet, absent._

"_Yes."_

_He stared at her thoughtfully._

"_Are you?"_

_She seemed to search for an answer._

"_I don't know."_

_Mello smiled._

"_Is that your answer for everything?"_

_Kenna giggled._

"_No."_

_Mello grabbed her hand, bringing it carefully to his lips, gently kissing the tips of her fingers, enthralled in her words, waiting for her to speak, his eyes focused on her pretty face._

_She pushed her tangled hair away from her face._

"_I'm undecided on pretty much everything. I don't know what to expect from anything, anyone. For myself. I have no idea. I have no expectations beyond us. I have no expectations beyond happiness, love, excitement, adventure, life. I'll decide when I can make fair judgment."_

"_Why can't you make fair judgment with religion?"_

_His words weren't pushy or offended. They were honest, genuinely interested._

"_I have respect for people who are, I believe that you should have faith in something. I honestly cherish the connection, the pure bond between people and their Gods, but I can't… I can't find comfort in something I can't see or feel. I find refuge in love, I find faith in love, comfort in love, everything in seamless love."_

_Mello closed his eyes, bringing her hand to his face, gently holding it there._

_Kenna moved her hand to his chest, feeling his heart beat slowly, carefully, fully._

"_I believe in this. In love, in passion. I believe in the heart. I believe in decisions, emotion, the human mind, the way we all look at things. But mostly, I believe in us, Mello."_

"_Mihael."_

"_Huh?"_

_Kenna cocked her head._

"_Please say my name. Quietly. Honestly."_

_Kenna smiled, bringing her lips to his ear._

"_Mihael."_

_Mello sighed, tears falling from his eyes slowly._

"_I love you."_

_Kenna kissed him._

"_I love you, too, Mihael Keehl."_

_Mello chuckled._

"_It sounds so good coming from you."_

_Kenna wiped his tears away._

"_That's because we love each other."_

_Mello nodded._

"_I know. I just needed to feel it. Just a moment longer."_

Mello let himself remember.

He pushed himself away from the desk, burying his face in his hands.

He was losing. Not because of Kira, but because of Kenna. He was losing.

He couldn't lose.

Not now.


	4. Chapter 4

He had tried to change.

He had tried to comfort her.

He had tried to tell her he still loved her, still needed her.

He had tried to be gentle, understanding, _fucking trustworthy_.

Nothing mattered now. He couldn't change who he was. He was a wreck. He was battered, and bruised, and cold, and his vision was too blurred to see backwards and remember everything that he was to Kenna.

Lately, Matt was the one to comfort her, to hold her, to explain how fucked Mello was, to explain that it wasn't her, it was Mello. As if she needed Matt to tell her that. It was obvious. Kenna just never wanted to see it, always making excuses for Mello. Always trying to see him as something more than what he was, always exceeding what he could ever be.

He did still love her. He needed her. She held his sanity, his old self, the things he lost to his hatred, to this sickness he had brewing inside of him.

He was everything but gentle. He was forceful, expectant, selfish. He wanted, and he took. He was in, and he was out. He tried. He tried over and over again but nothing ever changed. He built up her hopes and crushed them, time and time again.

He couldn't understand. He never would. How could she love him? How could she cling to what remained of his old self? There was nothing left to love, nothing left to hold, nothing left to fix. It was broken and gone and there wasn't anything left to get back.

Mello couldn't be fucking trusted. He wouldn't change. Promises went fulfilled for moments at a time, but broken time and time again. He made his word good when it was convenient for him. Other than that, he could care less. He didn't give a shit who he hurt.

Except for her.

He couldn't bear seeing her cry, seeing her hurt.

Seeing her helpless and afraid.

_**Fucking helpless and afraid.**_

He couldn't do it to her anymore.

But he couldn't change.

"_I still love you, Mihael."_

_Mello looked over his shoulder._

"_You forgive me? After this?"_

_Kenna looked at him, holding her severely bruised hip. He was everything but gentle that night._

"_Yes. I will always forgive you."_

_Mello looked away._

"_Don't. Don't ever fucking forgive me, Kenna. I don't deserve it."_

"_Mihael, don't say that."_

"_Mello."_

_Kenna froze, tears running down her face._

"_My fucking name is Mello."_

_Something had broken._

Mello held fast to the memories as he sat alone, drinking the straight liquor. He didn't like it much, but he was holding the gun to his head.

No one there to save him.

"_Are you insane?"_

_Mello looked at Matt._

"_What are you talking about?"_

"_Are you fucking insane? She's in love with you, Mello. She wants you. She fucking __**wants**__ and __**needs**__ you. Why the fuck aren't you there?"_

_Matt was livid. After all, he was the one comforting her while she cried, helping her get dressed when it was too painful for her to look at the scars, the bruises._

"_You hurt her. You know that? I've seen just about every fucking mark you've left on her. I've seen every little piece of evidence of your existence within her. And you know what? Even though it's hard for her to look at, even though it's hard for her to live with, even though she feels fucking lost and helpless, she wants you, more than anything. She's happy when you come in and take her, and hurt her. It's the only time you pay attention to her. It's the only bit of affection you give her."_

_Mello turned around, looking Matt in the eyes._

"_Shut the fuck up, or get out."_

_Matt shook his head._

"_You're fucked up."_

_Mello smiled._

"_And she still wants me."_

Mello closed his eyes.

God, did that gun feel good right now.

Every moment he lived in this place, a gun to his head, he could remember her, remember them, remember the things he lost, dropped, scattered and forgotten.

The door was locked.

He didn't realize she was standing outside of it, trying to gather the courage to knock, trying to gather to courage to come in and sit on his lap, kiss him, beg him to be with her, beg him to take her, beg him to love her. She just needed it for a moment. Just a moment. She was desperately in love with him. No one understood. But she saw Mello, she **saw** Mihael Keehl. She saw what he used to be in what he was. She saw him. She still saw.

Kenna couldn't let go. She couldn't give up. She promised, she would wait and forgive. He promised he would find her. He had to find himself first. He had to get through this, this madness that was consuming him. Then they could get back. They could get back, and everyone would see. Everyone would see how Kenna saw him now.

_Mello leaned on the doorframe, watching and listening the inattentive teenagers talk and move._

_Kenna lifted herself off of the bed._

"_I still love him, Matt."_

"_Let go."_

_Matt was obviously pleading._

"_Let go, Kenna. Give up. You're getting hurt. You're too far in, Kenna, you need to drop this fantasy that Mello's going to be your hero again. He's gone. Forever."_

_Kenna spun around and looked him in the eyes. She was wearing a tank top and underwear. Mello could see, from where he was, her bruised and scarred thighs, and the bit of her exposed lower back let scars show, tangling down her back. Mello knew how far they stretched, how many joined them._

"_I'm not letting go. Matt, drop it. I'm in love with Mello, I love him with everything I am. I see it, Matt, everyday. Every time he… every time he's with me."_

_There was pain in her voice, desperation beyond repair._

"_I see him. I see the love, the forgiveness. I forgive him, for everything. He's lost. I've found him. He needs to find him. Then he'll find me."_

_She grabbed a pair of jeans._

"_Please help me put these on. I can't… I can't do it alone today."_

_Mello walked away._

_He wasn't lost._

_She was confused. _

_She was delusional._

_She was fucked in the head to love him._

_Mello smiled._

_She was just as fucked as he was._

Mello never saw Kenna outside the door. He never saw her stand for twenty minutes, doing nothing but hoping, praying, wishing. Believing in something that might not exist anymore.

He never saw her leave and go to her room, sitting and crying, praying to a God she didn't and couldn't believe in, praying for Mello to find himself. Praying for him to love her again. Praying for him to remember.

He never saw the scars on her wrists, on her arms.

He never paid enough attention.

And Kenna never saw Mello pull out a gun and stick it in his mouth, wondering if today was the day.

It wasn't.

He pulled it away, the taste of metal in his mouth.

He was stuck here another day.

Until he gathered the heart to leave Kenna alone, there would never be bullets in the gun he kept in his desk.


End file.
